Girls have huge poo

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Have you ever weighed yourself pre and post shit? What was your biggest shit? Like, a lot.

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We all shit. So why are women so coy about it? In fact, I feel lucky to finally have a healthy working colon after years of constipation hell.

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Photo by Paul Edmondson via Stocksy. I like to collect pooping horror stories in the way I like to collect friends: abundantly, and without assessing if they're actually good for me or contribute anything to my life. I've listened to many poo stories in my life, and I'll continue to push harder until I find that ultimate tale: the golden nugget, the poop story to end all poop stories.

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In fact, we are so quiet about it that I am beginning to suspect that not all of us actually poo. I have heard of friends going days without a poo on a trip away with partners, I have heard of someone asking their mum to pick them up from work at lunchtime so they could nip home for a poo, and I have even heard of the glorious invention that is the poo mitt. She explained to me that she carefully wraps a wad of toilet roll around her hand, she then poops into aforementioned mitt, and slowly drops it into the water, flushes and goes about her merry day.

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A MAN rushed to hospital when he lost feeling in his legs was suffering a horrendous case of faecal impaction. Yep, that's a huge build up of poo - typically a long-term side effect of constipation. The year-old unnamed patient was in such a bad way, he could barely walk and doctors couldn't find a trace of his pulse in his right leg, which had started to go cold due to lack of blood flow.

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I find lots of baby and toddler stuff that I must do with my two-year-old quite unbelievably dull; about as stimulating as watching repeats of the weather forecast in the dark. These first two years that everyone said would go so quickly — for much of it, the minutes have passed like hours. Not that the slowness has made my memories any clearer, as I still have no idea where I put, say, the lock of hair from her first haircut that I said I would keep forever, or if her first word really was Abu, followed by Hamza, or was it merely cat?

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A woman was caught going for a poo on a driveway in broad daylight on Sunday morning. CCTV cameras caught the woman, dressed in torn black jeans, black pumps and a khaki jacket, walking towards a back garden moments before human poo was found on a driveway in Cheltenham, Glos. University students Hannah Lawton, 21, and Harris Stodell, 20, from Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, became suspicious when they noticed the unidentified woman walk on to their driveway on Sunday morning.

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A STUDENT who had to call when his Tinder date got wedged in his bathroom window as she tried to throw away a poo has revealed he's still looking for love. After unlucky Liam Smith's horror date hit the headlines last year, he vowed to take the unfortunate girl for a second drink - but has since revealed that she friendzoned him. He said: "We still talk on Facebook every now and again and after going through everything we have stayed friends. The year-old had invited the unnamed woman back to his flat in Bristol to watch TV and share a bottle of wine after their Nandos meal.

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Quite a lot, as it turns out. Here's what's healthy, and what might mean your kid is constipated. Do you know if your child is pooping pellets, logs, or bumpy sausages?

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The poo girl from the 'worst Tinder date ever' has broken her silence via an anonymous internet post after her toilet antics went viral. Liam Smyth, 24, sparked the internet frenzy when he launched a fundraising campaign after his window was broken by firefighters rescuing a woman who got stuck half-way out. And while she has remained anonymous, the mystery poo chucker appears to have broken her silence in an anonymous Reddit forum post. Posting under the pseudonym tulip-0hare she said friends in the know were comparing her to the clumsy TV character Miranda Hart.


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